Look up, it's July.  The displays of fireworks are everywhere!   But, has the origin of fireworks ever crossed your mind? According to Scientific American Magazine, we can thank the Chinese for inventing fireworks as early as 200 B.C. Before the invention of paper, Chinese scribes would carve messages into green bamboo stalks. They would dry these stalks over a fire and the air pockets in the bamboo would create a "snap, crackle, bang!" sound.  The really interesting part is that the Chinese would use these loud bangs to scare off the Shan Shan, 10-foot-tall mountain men. Anyway, in this issue, you'll find: 

• Roy's philosophy about business  
• Nick's once-in-a-lifetime outgoing message
• A Jingles & Intro Survey
• Friends & Supporters 
• And much more!  

Joe Avati is back in North America with a brand new tour!  It's called "When I Was Your Age".  In his latest comedic monologue, he compares the ‘then versus now’ generational differences of today’s children against his own. He provides wildly-funny insights into the complexities of modern-day parenting. His observations are not only accurate but also extremely relatable for all ages. Nick and Roy are planning another podcast episode with Joe in July.  

Hint: This mystery item bears the same name as an English-language magazine. Still stumped?  Scroll down for the answer. 

If there is one thing that I have found in my life is that it is best to go with your gut. They say when you take a test, always go with your first answer. That is very similar to going with your gut instinct.

Throughout my life, many people tried to talk me out of things that I wanted to do. I was just 21 years old and I wanted to open up my first business. It was a video electronic store. Video rentals had just become legal and my gut said that it would become a massive industry very quickly. My family thought I was insane, they gave me multiple reasons why I should not do it. But I was 21 years old, so I knew everything! (Ha ha).

I didn't listen to my family and opened my first store on Gun Hill Road in the Bronx. Needless to say, the video rental business exploded into something that I didn't think I even expected. Within two years, I had 3 locations. It was an amazing ride and one of the best experiences of my life. Nick even worked at the main store for a while before he moved to Canada.

What I learned from this experience at such a young age was unbelievable. I learned about inventory, finances, and all of the skills that make a business successful. I learned that a successful business isn't only hard work, trust me I know what it was to work 15 hours a day and 7 days a week, but it is also being at the right place at the right time.  I often laugh when people say they want to open their own business to be their own boss. Be careful what you wish for. 

I wouldn't trade my experience at Debro Video and Audio, my employees became more like family, the experience, and of course the money. But when I think back, I never really factored in defeat. My gut told me to do it so strongly that I would have regretted not doing it. So, go with your gut. If you fail, you're the only one who pays for it.

If you are a regular listener to the show, you will know that jingles introduce each topic. A jingle is usually a short song or tune used in advertising and for other commercial uses. Think of it as a form of sound branding. 

What is your favorite jingle from our show? Take the survey here.

We will release the results in next month's newsletter.

This month, we would like to give a bit shout-out to Melissa Schultz, program director at CKLW in Windsor. CKLW is one of several stations on the iHeart Radio Network which airs our show. 

From the very first week that our show was available for distribution, Melissa was supportive and has been an ally ever since.  Roy and I are also grateful to Mike and Lisa of the Morning Drive on CKLW. They have had us on their show several times to help us promote Totally Useless Information. 

Most of our regular listeners know that I have worked in the radio industry for over three decades. There were many thrilling moments that I experienced in my career. I met several celebrities (as featured in last month's newsletter). This month, I wanted to share how I got Don Pardo, the long-time announcer at NBC's Saturday Night Live, to record an outgoing message for my answering machine. 

NBC decided to sell off its radio network in the mid-1980s. On the last day just before we signed off on our last NBC Radio Network newscast, Don Pardo made his way to our studios to wish us well in our "future endeavors". I couldn't believe that this legendary announcer would stop in to say 'goodbye'.

At this point, I had nothing to lose, so I walked up to him and asked him to record an outgoing voicemail message for me. I wanted a memento from NBC.  He not only agreed to do it, but he also told me that he would do it free of charge.  After all, he said, you are out of a job in a few hours, it was the "least he could do." 

So, I grabbed a brand new cassette from the box in the studio and led Don Pardo to the on-air booth. He did a microphone check to make sure the audio level was good. I pointed to him and away he went. He recorded the phone message in one take. I thanked him for the message, shook his hand, and then he was off to see other radio people.

What a thrill! The guy that was on TV every Saturday night bellowing "Live form New York, it's Saturday Night Liiiive!"recorded a personalized message for me. 

When my family and friends found out that I had Don Pardo on my answering machine, they called my phone constantly. They wanted to hear the message for themselves. Even when I was home, and picked up the phone, they said: "hang up, we called to hear Don Pardo's message!" 

I have the recording to this day and, of course, the unforgettable memory of being in the presence of a radio and TV legend.  I am happy to share this audio treasure with you. Click below to hear it.

Here are some wacky - but true - news stories that Nick and Roy collected this month, but didn't make the cut for the show:   

• No, ifs, and, or butts: Protestors drop pants to protest climate change at Massachusetts Statehouse.
• Auto shop owner who paid worker in 91,500 oily pennies ordered to pay nearly $40,000 more | AP News
• Alabama governor signs legislation naming Yellowhammer Cookie as official state cookie.
• To Hell and Back? Polish bus operator changes bus number 666 following criticism from religious groups.

What you see in the image above is the latest capture of the Martian terrain (with colour added), sent to Earth courtesy of the Curiosity Rover.  If you'd like to download your own personal postcard from NASA, please click here.  

This question came to us from Norman from Las Vegas, Nevada: Hey guys, I listen to you all the time. I wanna know who started writing the &%#^$ that sometimes replaces swear words. Thoughts? 

Response:  Norman, thanks for your question. And thanks for listening! We really appreciate it. The typographical symbols you're talking about are called grawlixes; they are also known as jarns, nittles and obscenicons. According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, the term grawlix was coined in the 1960s, and it's accredited to the late cartoonist Mort Walker (1923-2018), the creator of Beetle Bailey.  Walker coined a number of terms for the tropes of comic drawing, and collected them in a book, The Lexicon of Comicana, published in 1980. Other coinages from Walker included briffit, for the cloud of dust left when a character makes a nasty getaway, and plewds for the drops of sweat that are shown when a character is under stress. 

Part Swiss Army knife and part charm bracelet, this decorative hook or clasp is called a chatelaine. It was used by women, and it was typically fastened at the waist to hang keys, scissors, a watch, and other trinkets. Popularized in the 18th century, the chatelaines were a major fashion accessory for many Victorian women since their dresses rarely had practical pockets.

Thanks for reading the Totally Useless VIP newsletter. We hope that you've enjoyed the experience. If it has put a smile on your face, please don't keep it on the DL!  Tell a friend about the trend. 

If you have suggestions for the newsletter or would like to send us feedback, please email editor@nickandroy.com