It'syay, Aprilyay: Appyhay Aprilyay ools'fay ayday!  You might think that we've forgotten how to spell, and you wouldn't be completely wrong on some days. But, this isn't one of those days.  The gibberish in the intro is Pig Latin. Did you know that the origins of this pseudo-language can be traced back to Shakespearean English in the 1500s? This fact came as a surprise to Roy and I because we thought it originated from Mel Brook's Robin Hood: Men in Tights when the abbot says: "Oh ordlay, ivethgay usway ouryay essingsblay. Amen-ay!"  Anyway ...   In this issue, you'll find: 

• Roy's hidden talent as a crooner in SWF
• Nick's Tribute to the Astor
• Audio Bloopers
• Brain Busters 
• And much more!  

No, no ... not the beer!  We're talking about the Guinness World Records. 

This month, Nick and Roy interviewed Dr. Joseph Dituri, associate professor at the University of South Florida, from his 100-sq-foot submerged chamber, located 22 feet under the Key Largo lagoon. The professor's quest is to live underwater for 100 days to study the effects of water pressure on the human body. He's also on course to break the world record for the longest time spent living underwater. Tune into the episode on April 6th wherever you get your podcasts, or check out the Nick and Roy Channel on Youtube to watch the full interview.  

In 1988, Roy and Nick worked at an electronics store in the Bronx. Foot traffic was a little slow that day, so they decided to horse around with a new RCA camcorder. This was way before MTV, viral tweets, and TikTok. To retrieve this video from the archives, Nick had to dust off the VCR, sift through a mountain of crusty old manuals, and untangle a bunch of cables to finally connect the VCR to the computer to capture and convert the video to MP4. Enjoy the 6-minute ultra-outrageous course on how to fix a phone. Click below to watch the comedy skit. 

I think I was always involved in music. Even at a young age, I loved different types of music. My experience in high school singing and learning so much about musical control of my voice gave me the confidence to sing in front of crowds.

But, like many things, music took a backseat in my life. Other more important responsibilities became my focus. Many years went by until I found the time to re-discover music again. I began to write songs and play guitar and keyboards. I started to write music and collaborated with other songwriters.  Sometimes, we are given a gift and at times we don't have the space in our lives to enjoy and share it.  It's not until many years later that we find that gift way back in the attic where we stored it.  It is then you realize how much that gift means to you.  

I started to perform again and it has become a completely new career for me. I started a one-man show and am enjoying every moment.

It's never too late to re-ignite something in your life that you really love.  My dad always said it's important to work hard, but if you love what you do, it will make success a much easier task. Boy, he was right!   I really look forward to doing live shows.  It's a great feeling to know that people are having fun and that you are making their lives a little bit happier.  Music is a universal thing; it's the one thing that all humans engage in.  It can fill your heart, tap your feet, and bring you back to a moment in time when all you can remember is that special person and that song playing in the background.  I am blessed to be part of that.  I hope to go on writing and performing for a long time.

• What are Gleeba-globa-gloobins, Supershistershires and Das Guten-scales?  Answer: some Season 7 bungles and boo-boos.

If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, the television game show Name That Tune, is hard to forget. In honour of April Fools' Day and in an attempt to recreate a little nostalgia for classically-entertaining music trivia, we've compiled snippets of five (5) tunes that have the word "fool" in their titles.  Can you name the titles?  Try the multiple-choice quiz. 

Above: George Kash with two barrels of premium lager

Did you know that Canada's very own Mr. Oktoberfest - George Kash - has been a great supporter of the Totally Useless Information Show with Nick and Roy for several years? He tunes into the podcast, the radio show, and reads our newsletter from start to finish. We're so happy to report that George has fully recovered from a bad case of COVID-19. This means he'll be back to entertain the crowds very soon. Check out his website for upcoming appearances. 

This month, I'd like to share a memory about the time Roy and I worked at his father's restaurant - The Astor - in the Bronx. 

Roy worked there as a cook; I started as a busboy at age 17. 

Believe it or not, I was a super shy teenager.

I was so shy that I had a hard time looking at customers in the eye. Being a busboy helped me grow out of my shyness because I had to interact with the diners while I poured water, served bread, and ferried plates back and forth from the kitchen. I was promoted to waiter after a year, and then the strangest thing happened: no one could shut me up! 

Anyway, back to the story: Roy's dad was a stickler for cleanliness, so one day he asked Roy to paint the kitchen after closing time. The kitchen wasn't huge, but it was definitely a two-person job. So, there we were at 2:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning after a busy dining service, gathering buckets, drop cloths, paint, rollers, brushes, paint thinner, and ladders while the kitchen crew cleaned up. 

When the kitchen staff left, Roy decided that we needed something to put some hair on our chests (a secret weapon of sorts) to get us through the night. Instead of coffee, Roy reached for a lime-green liqueur called chartreuse. We'd often watch the bartenders light up shots of chartreuse and serve the flaming liquid to customers.  It was pure octane at 110 proof. 

A few rounds of the firewater really got the wheels turning.  I remember cracking open the cans of paint; I remember the sudden sensation of seeing spinning circles as I climbed up the ladder; I remember laughing uncontrollably.  And I don't remember much more after that, except for the fear of having to face Roy's dad the next morning.  

Wouldn't you know it, it turns out that two drunken and exhausted teens could still paint pretty darn well.  We managed to keep most of the paint on the walls and the chartreuse in our stomachs.  

Fast forward 40 years, and Roy and I are still working together, laughing uncontrollably, and doing things we never thought we could. 

Here are some wacky - but true - news stories that Nick and Roy collected this month, but didn't make the cut for the show:   

• Couple gets married in Taco Bell Metaverse
• Scientists discover dinosaur in China with 50-foot-long neck
• American ice cream chain, Van Leeuwen, launches new flavour:  Ranch (dressing) Ice Cream. 

Listener Paul from northern Ontario writes: 

Hey, I stumbled on the show ... totally awesome.  I've read so many reasons why the lime is put in the Corona.  I guess one reason is that it's easier than the coconut.😊  In Texas, I heard four more reasons.  If you can put that to bed, that'd be great. 

Response:  Thanks for your feedback and your question, Paul. There are a lot of theories floating around about the fruity sidekick's appearance in Corona's long-neck bottle. So, it's hard to know if we've found the definitive answer to your question. But,  we found an article from the Chicago Tribune dated September 3, 1986 called "Solving the Mystery of the Beer with Lime". In it, Bob Greene interviews bartenders all over Chicago as the trend was taking off in the USA.  Many bartenders were quoted as saying that it was a monkey see, monkey do situation. Here's what one of the bartenders said in the article: "People are afraid to be different from each other. They see people on all sides of them drinking Corona-with-lime, and they're afraid to order anything else. It's like if you order anything else, you're uncool."  In a follow-up article, Greene interviewed Leo Flores, associate editor of the Mexico City News at that time, to understand if the lime wedge trend was imported along with the Corona. Flores said that "in Mexico, Corona is not consumed with lime. No Mexican would ever do something like that. Lime with beer is a trademark of Tecate (a pale lager served in an aluminum can). That's how they advertise it here. People clean off the top of the can, rub it with lime or lemon, and put salt on it.  You can do that with any canned beer. But bottled beer -- never!"  According to Greene, it seems that the lime-in-a-bottle was a fad that just took off. 

We recently received a handful of inquiries about the boxer brief giveaway contest that Nick and Roy talked about on four consecutive podcast episodes in March. Thanks to everyone who wrote in to express interest, but the contest has now ended. Congratulations to the winners! 

If you missed the giveaway and you're curious to learn more about Nick and Roy's preferred boxer briefs, visit Manmade Brand. 

In March, Rita DeMontis, Senior National Lifestyle and Food Editor at Postmedia, interviewed Nick and Roy about their podcast and radio show. If you're interested in reading the entire article, simply click here.  

Thanks for reading the Totally Useless VIP newsletter. We hope that you've enjoyed the experience. If it has put a smile on your face, please don't keep it on the DL!  Tell a friend about the trend. 

If you have suggestions for the newsletter or would like to send us feedback, please email editor@nickandroy.com