Olé olé - olé olé ... It's August, and we're feeling hot, hot, hot.  We just couldn't resist repeating the lyrics from the 1980s party favourite made famous by Buster Poindexter.  How hot is too hot? Well, if temperatures on Earth continue to climb, we may all be fanning our pits in front of a cranked-up A/C for years to come.  Anyway, in this issue, you'll find: 

• Roy's Floridian sightings
• Nick's handiwork with loose-leaf paper
• An online game that will have you hooked for hours
• Headline Headscratchers
• Friends & Supporters 
• And much more! 

Nick & Roy recently had the pleasure of interviewing David Phillips of Environment Canada's weather service. They tapped into his 50 years of experience to explore weather myths and zany weather stories. David's work activities relate to the study of the climate of Canada and to furthering awareness and understanding of meteorology. David has published many books and won prestigious awards including being named to the Order of Canada in 2001. The complete interview will be released later this month. 

Yeah, well ... Mickey's behavior in the gif may be strange, but it isn't half bad compared to what my eyes have seen. There's no doubt in my mind that the heatwave is getting to people in Florida, and some are trying pretty weird things to keep cool. Here are five strange sightings that I wish my eyes had never seen:  

Coming in at number 5: I saw a teenager duct tape a small, battery-powered fan onto their cellphone in order to text in comfort.   
Number 4: I saw a woman stick her derrière into a refrigerated display case in the dairy aisle at Walmart.  
Number 3: I saw a guy place two Alka Seltzer tablets in his swimming trunks and jump into a public pool.
Number 2: I saw people licking their wrists outdoors. Apparently, it works just as well on people as it does on monkeys.   

And, the number one thing I wish my eyes had never seen is a group of seniors seizing control over a children's splash fountain, getting their Depends all wet.

PHOTO CREDIT:Roger Tidman/FLPA/solent

Have you ever wondered what happens to the 54,000 used Slazenger tennis balls after the annual two-week Wimbledon tournament is over? 

It turns out that some of these tennis balls are sold to spectators, with proceeds going to charity.  Others are donated to wildlife conservation authorities so that they can repurpose them as homes for tiny harvest mice. The tennis balls safeguard the pint-sized mammals from bad weather and predators. A harvest mouse weighs between 4 - 6 grams.

Last month, we asked you to vote on your favorite jingles that introduce various topics on the show. These are the jingles you liked in order of preference:  (1) Science, (2) Animals, and (3) Food - followed closely by Inventions, Cars, and Sports. 

If you didn't cast your vote last month, but would like to share your opinion the survey is still available.

We're not sure of the purpose of this Japanese game. But, we are sure of one thing: you'll have a lot of fun trying to figure it out. 

For many years, Rob DiCicco aka "Fly Guy Valentine" saddled into a single-engine Cessna 172 at Buttonville Airport and prepared to fly 1,500 feet above the skies of the GTA. His job?  To stop drivers from crawling along in traffic with no prospect of going anywhere fast.  As a radio and TV traffic reporter, Rob accompanied drivers on their daily rush hour commutes, giving them live, airborne traffic reports about road closures, highway roll-overs, and major breaking news that would snarl traffic.

Although his reporting years are behind him, Rob's talent and tenacity are as far-reaching as the horizon. Nowadays he is continuing to work on his entertainment business and DJ'ing for weddings, parties, and other corporate affairs. Listen for our upcoming interview with Fly Guy Valentine scheduled for the fall.     

In May, when I visited Roy in Fort Myers, we spent a little time fixing the A/C at his place.  And while we were troubleshooting in his garage, I had a flashback to my childhood.

We didn't have A/C in elementary school as a kid, so to stop myself from overheating, I used to take a piece of loose-leaf paper in class and quickly fold it back and forth and back and forth until I made myself a crooked-looking fan. Did you ever do that?   Both Roy and I remember using this type of personalized cooling system in school; we also remember that flicking our wrists with our handicrafts actually made us feel hotter. 

This blast from the past got me thinking about where the folded handheld fan came from.  My bet was on the Egyptians - but I was wrong. 

Credit for the folding fan belongs to the Japanese. The most interesting tidbit of useless information I found was that the Japanese did not invent it to create a refreshing breeze during hot and humid weather.  It was designed to be a communication tool - much like a cellphone. It was small enough to fit in a person's pocket; it stored and transmitted messages and pictures, and it let people network with different communities. 

Nowadays, no one uses handheld folding fans very much anymore. But who's to say that they won't remerge as a trend? 

Who would have thought that the lowly suspender could be catapulted into the male accessory of choice in 2023 (thanks to Christopher Nolan's feature film)?  If it can happen for the suspender, it can surely happen for the fan. What's old can become new again. 

Here are some wacky - but true - news stories that Nick and Roy collected this month, but didn't make the cut for the show:   

• Croatians choosing mud over sunscreen at the beach
• AI beats 99% of humans on originality test
• This toad can get you high - really, really high
• Can the world's whitest paint cool things down?
• Are birds flipping us the bird?
• The mystery of black diamond apple trees 

A new cruise ship is coming soon, and it's so big you can probably see it from space. The Royal Caribbean's mega-ship, the Icon of the Seas, is full of tidbits of information that would probably be considered useless to anyone who is not planning a voyage. Here are some of the more interesting facts:  

• The ship is longer than the Eiffel Tower is tall. 
  
  
• It’s got twenty decks, more than 40 venues for wining and dining, an ice rink, a 55-foot waterfall, 9 whirlpools, 6 waterslides, and an open-air “Central Park” with real foliage.
  
  
• The new ship is five times larger than the Titanic.
  
  
• All 5, 610 passenger spots on the inaugural January 2024 voyage from Miami to the Caribbean are sold out.  It has a capacity of 7,600 guests.

Listener Michael from Toronto, Ontario writes:  I only started listening on Spotify in mid-July because police constable Sean Shapiro (who I watch regularly on Tiktok) promotes your show. I was on a train and decided to listen to a few episodes.  Then, I listened to more throughout the following day while walking 15km. Interesting stuff! 

Response: Thank you Michael for your feedback and for taking the time to send tons of useless information our way!  We appreciate your support. 

Thanks for reading the Totally Useless VIP newsletter. We hope that you've enjoyed the experience. If it has put a smile on your face, please don't keep it on the DL!  Tell a friend about the trend. 

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